29.7.17






(This one has been in the works for such a long time now, which probably didn´t make it any better - so, I just press publish and be done with it... enjoy the ride!)

Two reactions to my ALL OUT blog post - both from the same friend:
1. I should finally join Tinder using that first picture I posted, it would get me a lot of matches.
2. Writing about going mad on social media is probably not going to affect my upcoming dating business, but I really need to go easy on the cat picture posting - this does actually make me look crazy.

I´m not regretting anything, neither writing about it - THE PUZZLING WAY THAT WRITING HEALS THE BODYSo, in tune with said post: You know you got it if it makes you feel good, oh, yes indeed!

A lot of things happening here on this blog (and in real life) are partially my sisters "fault", she keeps encouraging me to always go a step further in the wild direction, so here we go, on and on: her plan for a very long time now has been to find me a date and since it hasn´t happened "naturally" so far, we signed me up for a dating service and app while she stayed over for a while, working on her thesis and being in need of some real deal procrastination. Not a fan of the web thing, but I have been swiping now for a few days and it has been a blast so far (I actually did use the picture my friend suggested)! By now we are full on "Pro Tinder" - which is also the title of her little performance art piece shown above, where she swipes a passport photograph of her boyfriend to the right all the time and I get to do whatever I want to on my little device.

Somehow most of the profiles are disturbingly alike - apparently all a woman wants is a man who likes his beer, rides a bike in full gear and is very into skiing down a mountain, maybe throw a beach in there too, or (an uncomfortable looking selfie in) a car - or better yet: employment at Audi (must be a regional thing, unless working there actually requires having a Tinder account). Also the amount of people skydiving is quite stunning, the sky must be riddled with falling people! And so many men on horses - who knew! It also took me a while to find out what an ONS is, the height thing I still haven´t figured out, but then again - I´m really new to the whole dating situation.

Inspired by all this I included the following in my profile pictures to help things along a bit:
- my collection of tiny beer mugs
- an assortment of bikes stored away in my shed
- me skiing (this won´t ever happen, so I had to draw it for you)
- I also had no recent picture of me on a beach, but I bet I´d look that stunning
- since I don´t even have a drivers license I had to make up the car picture too, plus the one of me wearing a dirndl, holding a Mass


And for almost full disclosure, here are some other things you might want to know about me:
Blessed with anxieties about enclosed spaces and travel.
Afraid of heights.
I have a damaged spine and some other ailments - most of the time no one notices and I don´t really care, but sometimes I´m having a hard time dealing with being failed by my body. This also keeps me from doing adventure sports (and running) (and camping).
Reproductively challenged - we might have to be happy with just each other or buy a baby on Ebay.
Haven´t been in a relationship for an embarrassingly long time.
I am not a minimalist, I´m not even pretending to be one.
Feminist.
Tasteful - my sister says so, I´d add "in a slightly off way".
She also thinks I should mention that I don´t pay rent, as this might make me very desirable (she´s still a student on her way to become an artist/dancer, maybe that´s why).
Collector of odd things (see tiny beer mugs - I don´t even drink beer by the way).
Frighteningly honest about myself (see this blog).
Got clinically diagnosed with a severe desire for freedom.
Completely fine with not sharing every hobby - you´re not expected to prune my Sweet Juliet roses with me (the William Morris is sadly not doing so fine this year), also I will not accompany you on your crossing-the-alps-rafting-trip-thing (or running) or play video games with you.
Love my work (well, I think I´m currently transitioning to something else, but still) AND every distraction I can get from it.
Overall peaceful person, but some things are unnegotiable - sorry.
Laugh a lot and am easily made to do so.
I love people, they are my number one remedy for a lot of things.
Really like do go out and do stuff - often on my own, but that´s actually very negotiable in case someone wants to tag along. I´d like that a lot. 
You´d get access to over a hundred cook books and so many more others (and a vast collection of vintage tableware - you could become a food stylist if you´d want to).

I´m not scary crazy in real life, I save that exclusively for this blog.




What I want? I think I know. 





Don´t get me wrong, I´m not a fool (maybe foolish, I´m fine with that) - I don´t expect any miracles, but so far I have found a lot of beautiful things over the life span of this blog, so why not see if it can help me find the real deal. Also this is not a prank nor a project or 40 DAYS OF DATING, this is just me. Maybe it´s just proof of a new mindset, a start, a hello, another all out.



So, in case you´re not one of my ex-boyfriends who are probably the only male persons reading this blog + the guy from my neighborhood who´s getting married in the next couple of weeks (congratulations by the way!) - I took the first step, let the games begin! 







Wait for the Tinder date bit: THEY USE MY BODY AS THE SHAPE AND MY FACE FOR THE INSPIRATION.








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