welcome to my personal whining blog
where i´m wailing over my life and complain a lot in general
my arms smell like Voltaren Forte most days and that "scent" is beginning to stress me out
it really does not trigger some king of lovely olfactory memories
my limbs feel leaden and useless
the heavily rose scented warm night air fails to make me feel happy as usual
but makes me think about yet another season passing with me feeling disabled
and the fading smell of the linden trees makes me melancholic
just like the mold hiding between the strawberries from the farmers market
when asked what i do for a living i don´t want to reply with "create jewellery" any more now
it feels like a fraud when what i´m actually doing is tell other people how to make it for me
to me it does not feel like i´m the boss and that´s what i do
but like i´m ducking out instead
and it´s also really hard to see someone (my new workshop "slave")
struggle with tasks i was once able to perform to perfection
(ok, i´ll admit that after a few more hours he has become quite handy)
so - of course - this signet ring was made my W, i only came up with the basic scetches and the engraving
(i always use Futura - i know there are a lot of amazing fonts out there, but this one is just it for me)
the wedding bands were created by him also
i´m glad about every day i don´t feel depressed somehow
this strange mood underlining everything, this weird dimming of your internal lights
a mental state i´m trying to confront with a lot of fresh air, movement, work and friends
on the other hand i know it is okay for me to feel like that
since i´m mourning a life i had that was based on me being very skilful with my hands
and now i´m feeling slightly handicapped instead
also i always feel slightly sick when riding my bike through my neighborhood each day
seeing the streets i walked/staggered along a couple of times each day to keep my busy during my worst time
this probably means i need new memories now, new sights and smell
here are a few things to start with:
trying to get my hands on some LIBERTY FABRIC now with the Pound so cheap
(and then make my mum sew some summer skirts for me - she does an excellent job)
i hate BREXIT nevertheless
my cat is a drug addict - she does not only "do" catnip but elder and yew too
this garden is a poisonous affair and i´m sorry to say i didn´t get high but a RASH instead
so my advice would be to keep away from any kind of spurge 
and burning bush in full bloom when the sun is shining
fun fact: W found that antique pink flowery mug on the flea market himself
and declared it perfect for drinking his coffee from
with it being the same shape like his last cup from which he had by now almost completely rubbed off the gold rim 
when warming his hands
sometimes he does have a fancy taste