wsake

Listen, I cannot stress this point enough: everyone should have a BIG BONE BARRETTE, preferably the glossy version. Amongst other things it goes very well with vintage Comma, jackets found on flea markets.   -   I figure all my financial troubles are over now, since there is a huge pile of marten shit right next to my front door, which basically means "der Teufel" started shitting "auf den größten Haufen", AKA money makes money. Now I just have to wait and see.   -   Since I am really into sentimental bavarian songs, I inscribed two BUBBLE PENDANTS with lines of the "Erzherzog Johann Jodler" and the "Isarmärchen": WO ICH GEH UND STEH TUT MIR MEIN HERZ SO WEH and WENN ICH DICH NUR SEH SCHWINDET LEID UND WEH (these are not listed in the shop, so in case you want one of those, just let me know)   -   You are going to see so many pictures of all that enameling going on in our workshop, soon you will be sick and tiered of it. I know that I posted some of those pictures up there twice, but I am suffering from decision-fatigue and couldn´t decide with combination I liked best.

The linden trees are in bloom over a month too early, their smell makes me most sentimental. It smells like the Summer holidays are about to begin, there is an ease creeping into the days and excitement, too. It also makes me feel slightly lovey-dovey, without knowing for whom or what, maybe in love with light sticky nights and heat induced dozi- and dizziness, having to put my stiffly swollen feet in a bowl of ice cold water to keep me from sticking to the keyboard. Probably I just #lovesummerhateeverythingelse. Now everyone wonders what might be left for August then, July even. 

One Saturday I come across another hen night, as usual during the weekend even in our small town, and I am thinking this one might be different than all the others after all, since all girls are holding up those matte pink menstruation cups. Then I realize those are actually just champagne flutes.

I can´t stop blogging, I can see how anachronistic that is, but who can time their needs to all those current trends. I did go with the begonias, succulents and cacti, and on the food side bee pollen, chia, turmeric and now hemp seeds, all pretty and delicious, but apart from than that I am not very on trend. Something I am really good at by now is that so called "self-care" - I am doing it very much my way however. The term makes me very queasy, since a lot of the advice is just downright selfish, which should be very alluring to me, since I am a really selfish person myself. Maybe it stings a bit because I am indeed feeling guilty because of being that way. For example I am really good at saying "No", saying "No" is basically the story of my life now, I say "No" so often it isn´t even special anymore. I won´t bore with all the things I say "No" to, it would be a long, tedious list. Also basically all the time is "Me Time", there is so much me time, it drives me nuts. Whenever I hear and read about someone taking time to "curl up with a book", my intestines curl up, too - reading is not something special for me, but an escape, a way to kill time until my eyes start to flicker or my neck gets sore. Or this thing about having a cup of "steaming tea" by themselves for a treat, it makes me steam, too, thinking about those endless pots of tea, making me get up at night at least three times to pee, since tea is all I do, all day long. I even vividly dream of having to pee and then peeing for the longest time, all because of all that tea drinking. Also I do not have to "carve out time for myself", I am trapped with myself, always and forever. The way I "provide" for myself is by making sure there is always a good stock of essentials at home, so I never run out of toilet paper, gluten free rolled oats and cat´s favorite food, since there might be times, when it could be a bit complicated to replace it. I also have a cup of GREEN MATCHA TEA every day and on a hot day, or basically all Summer long, I prepare a pot of green or herbal tea in the morning to drink cold when I return home in the afternoon. Later on I do a bit more peeing. There are a lot of double batches of roasted vegetables made in this household to spare me one round of cooking, eaten with spicy peanut butter sauce made with orange juice, pepper flakes, yeast powder and vinegar. Of course I do at least a triple dose, I have been a fan of peanut sauces ever since I found a recipe on 101cookbooks.com (simply can not find the recipe anymore, sorry!) when still a student and have been tweaking my version ever since. And I do a lot of PICNIC BREADS, too, probably because it is just an other opportunity to use mustard. On a quest of using up everything in my drawers before it needs to be thrown out, I am now doing a lot of precooked grains. I have now come to like salads made with millet (and cucumber, paprika, spinach and basil) so much, I had to restock it, so the whole endeavour was in vain. And to feel on top of things: constant obsessive tidying, tidying on the go. It might not look like that, but the heaps found in my flat are there on purpose, for decorative reasons. Everything else gets put away all the time, punctuated by some local deep tidying once in a while. The one thing I am not suffering from, is putting off dealing with little things, those get done in a flash. Bigger stuff deserves a bit of procrastination, but I have realized by now, that some of my projects just need a lot of stewing. It actually does them a lot of good. Like when I looked at those fancy stones for over a year, drawing up version upon versions of ear rings to make with them, starting work on those and deconstructing them again, twice, to turn them into something completely different. So worth it, all the lost gold dust even - you just wait and see (and save money, those are going to be quite pricey). Everything else however just gets churned out at once. Riding my bike home after leaving the workshop, I feel a rush of happy-high flooding through me, it has always been that way, working there makes me just so glad. And despite the fact that I am not able to actually do that much anymore, this still works. I am wondering if it has something to do with the fumes, since working on the computer can never achieve the same results, but I doubt it. One day I almost double over in pain after such a bike ride, but there is still that elating feeling. Work IS my self-care, no matter what anyone says. So, this trend I kind of get, but then it has been around for awhile now. So to cut this long story short: I am still into blogging. Too slow for things like Insta-Stories.

My holistic orthopedic sizes me up for insoles and has me take 50 steps with my eyes closed, hands stretched out in front. When I open my eyes again I have taken a turn by almost 60 degrees during those steps and I feel utterly embarrassed by this. I am so ashamed by this failure he tricked me into displaying. He then tells me a story how, with closed eyes, I would end up at the wrong table at the coffee place if I had been walking up to my boyfriend sitting there - this irks me even more. According to him that boyfriend would also know if I´d snore or grind my teeth at night. Why should I walk up to a boyfriend and why should such a thing lie next to me in bed? So all I say is "Ok, toll." The last time I went there, he chuckled because my legs are so short. I am not sure if I will go again, but he is the only one still willing to try things. Things after his own bible, but still.

I want to read everything on that WHOLE LIST - they had me a the line by Anne Truitt, which sounds so common to me: "All told, I now have available about one hundred dollars in ready money. It´s too low an ebb. Yesterday my heart pounded all day and my left eye is jumping and jerking." And I am very much into those cover designs, too.

On a dark winter night I met RICARDA (auch HIER) on the historical stone bridge for a few very delightful minutes (I was just recovering from a stomach flue and didn´t want to drag her into it, too), she seemed like such a nice sprite, emerging from the misty darkness (and wearing the perfect trousers and jacket). I told everyone how glad I was to have ventured out that night, still feeling sickly to meet such a lovely person. Now I am a GIRL CRUSH and reading her words made me blush quite a bit.