(Scrolls - I´m seeing a pattern here: deep fried apple ones from the bakery and a tiny tray of miso cheddar buns sprinkled with with black sesame seeds from an issue of LUNCH LADY) 
(also it looks like I only want to eat green pasta these days)

I´m always flushed with relief when someone else but me cancels a meeting, then I feel lighthearted and do something silly, like getting a scoop of Bacio ice cream while a cute couple enjoying the sun watches my packed bike. That bag of very unwholesome tipo 0 flour from the Italian super market I only get because of the tacky packaging and because it makes me dream of being someone entirely different, a person who travels to Italy and eats only cakes and bread made of white flour without blinking an eye.

The change of seasons, the white-haired lady selling tiny dark grapes at the farmers market, a certain combination of spices - all of this makes me think a lot about that VISIT from a handful of "internet friends" a couple of years ago and when I tell NINA about it she writes that she is so amazed how carefree we have been back then - so much has happened since. I do miss that ease and those girls. So much seems to be so far away, so very much out of reach. Looking at my full closet I think about giving a lot of the clothes away or selling them, but in the end I can only part with very few items - my mum says she keeps so many pieces just to remember things. And I want that too, everything else goes, to make new memories with my sisters and friends.

There sits a heavy fog all over town in the mornings and it takes almost all day to finally lift and reveal a blue sky, it makes me feel a bit dizzy. Some days we only get about two hours of light before the fog closes in again, right before the sun sets - I go out anyway that evening. The light my bike headlights casts comes alive, consisting of myriads of minuscule dancing water drops - it doesn´t feel scary but safe, riding in the dark being wrapped up in a wet coat. My back hates it though and acts out like crazy.

At the flea market I find a rose quartz candle holder and now I light a bees wax candle in it every night, hoping for calming esoteric stone powers to make me be at ease. W says it hurts his heart to see precious stones cut and wasted so crudely, but I am so drawn to theses things and tell myself it is okay to get them second hand. Also I´m planing a collection of those SALT LAMPS, electrical or lit by candles - since everyone seems to want to get rid of them, you can find some on every single fleamarket, so this shouldn´t take too long.

Things I have in my fridge:

at least 3 tubs of Greek style sheep yoghurt at all times - that is six days of breakfast taken care of

frozen blueberries

ice packs for emergencies that are hopefully never happening

a bottle of linseed oil

ghee - not into the taste lately

Andechser cream cheese, as a base coat for rustic savoury or sweet galettes (made at least twice a week)

bits of cheese (putting cheap Emmentaler on top of these galettes ruins everything, definitely the wrong way to save money)

a packet of miso (when it´s not in my parents´ fridge - we share)

a tiny half full bottle of white wine that must have gone sour by now, since i´m currently not that into risotto style rice puddings

very long lasting feta cheese in case there is nothing else around

capers in salt (what do I do with them?! ideas please!!!)

jar of canned lingonberries, to go into cakes, quark and of course on top of those galettes

half a jar of rose hip jam, I think it needs to be thrown out

Crema Aceto Balsamico, since I found out it needs to be stored in the fridge

tube of tomato paste

a frozen log of peanut sandie dough from Ottolenghi´s "Sweet", when a pat of butter needed using up but I didn´t want to eat any cookies

lately some ready made chocolate pudding since I want some, but simple can´t be bothered making it from scratch

farmers market loot, depending on the season

How come I have never roasted the SEEDS when eating pumpkin?!

SWEET CABBAGE STRUDEL and APPLESAUCE RAISIN CAKE from a time BEFORE THE INTERNET EXISTED

MARGARET ATWOOD on her tiny Canadian Island
somehow GOLUBKA KITCHEN pulls at my heart strings right now
of course I´m really into THE LITTLE LIBRARY CAFE

Apparently I have now reached the time of life when you fall asleep after reading three pages in bed - I thought this would never happen to me, but now it did. I order three bulbs of the very rare tulip INSULINDE for my mum and I have to admit we are not only doing this because the flowers are that stunning, but also because she has diabetes. The night I start watching "Fleabag" I don´t do the dishes - it is pretty wild, they are still in the sink the next morning. Ruthless! When I light the first candles of the season, my cat singes her tail and can´t place the stench afterwards.

Since the new collection isn´t selling so well, or more like not at all and with all those expenses up front, I´m currently broke on a high comfort level. So I snag up those apples from the for-free-boxes around the neighbourhood to make an UNFUSSY APPLE CAKE and since I stock my pantry pretty well when times aren´t as dire I also add a bit of marzipan and canned lingonberry to the batter. Those apples turn out to have the weirdest taste ever, no one can quite place it. I cash in my Payback Punkte at Alnatura to get the rest of the ingredients while a young hipster dad wearing the cologne my great-grandfather used is stuffing his shopping into a fancy shabby pram. The cologne is probably only available from Manufactum these days and he is of course also wearing one of those loden jackets that are so popular amongst the Bavarian kind of hipsters around here. I see an elderly father walking arm in arm with his teenage daughter, hugging while they cross an unspectacular bridge - I imagine he has a lot of money. The sun is shining on a day when it is supposed to rain.

I make focaccias using up odd flours, dried yeast and grapes from my own vineyard - the second time around I add a bit of last years´s copper fennel seed harvest which turns it into a divine meal. On the farmers market I stay clear of the booth with the expensive delicious things made of sheep´s milk and get potatoes, pumpkin, chard and kale only instead. ONE POT PASTAS are cheap (here is a GARLICY VERSION, might be even more inexpensive) and quite handy to use up anything you might still have on hand, when all the stray pasta is gone, you might have to move on to One Pot - One Ingredient Things in general - not there yet, just found an other forgotten box, so I have no insights to share so far. Hopefully I don´t have to raid our local Urban Gardening allotment, living off marigold petals any time soon.

My parents are out of town for a few days which stresses me out, since I like knowing to have them around in case of emergency - no emergencies for quite some time, but still. Until they are gone I fret a bit, but when they finally are, I feel calm and free. I´m making NUT BARS when they return with all that is left of nuts and nut butters in said pantry. The night of the HARVEST MOON is stormy and full of nightmares, for those I blame too many of these nut things in my tummy. Also I cough a lot, this goes quite well with poverty - fresh (and free) sage tea from the garden should help with that.

I redecorate and clean the apartment, I´m tired of a lot of things and planing on gifting only items from my closets and cupboards from now on. This means I don´t have to get presents for ages, quite thrifty.

One of my sisters is quite excited to swap poverty life hacks, the other one thinks she might have appendicitis, also her wrist is now in a cast after she used a jackhammer for hours and hours to get rid of some tiles in the bathroom - doing it all by herself to save money. So this is highly un-recommended!

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in.
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove.

"Dance me to the end of love" by Leonard Cohen, sung so beautifully by Madeleine Peyroux

We are saying good bye to a few of our pieces, so we are giving you a discount on those 

- get up to 40% off on everything in the SALE SECTION of our SHOP!

Happy shopping!